A recurring topic has been showing up in my life a lot lately. It started with Taylor Swift's new CD, 'Speak Now.' I opened the album art insert in the front cover of the CD to the first flap and read these words:
"I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moments we didn't speak up." - Taylor Swift
"I'm actually grateful now," Jason says, "that my speech handicap never afforded me the option of masking my weakness behind an illusion of competency. Whenever I opened my mouth, there it was for all to see... something was clearly wrong with Jason. I couldn't fool others or myself. I think the best thing that can happen to us is to be 'found out' for all that we are, our religious and human pretenses stripped away to reveal our sin, pettiness, and weakness. Then we can devote our energies to better endeavors than the constant masquerade of sufficiency. The added benefit is that people are able to see how God's grace works in a real person's life. When we come clean about our brokenness, Christ becomes the star of our testimony and not us."
I think that for a lot of us, most of our lives are spent keeping our mouths shut for fear of saying the wrong thing. I'm not the best at it, but I know I think about it all the time. I'm scared to say the wrong thing, so I choose not to say anything at all. Whether it's fear of embarrassment or someone not agreeing with what I say, or even someone judging me wrongly for the words I say. It's all of these fears that keep me from opening my mouth.
When I was little, I grew up listening to adults say "Children should be seen and not heard" and frankly, as a child, I always hated that phrase.
My parents will tell you I have a big mouth. And because of that, I always felt as if I had a very important opinion that needed to be heard. I like making my opinion heard and I like letting other people know what I think... but I have no filter. Therefore, sometimes, the things that come out probably shouldn't have.
I was a lot more shy when I was young, so I didn't worry too much about saying the wrong thing, since I didn't say much. But as I got older, I've started to talk more. And I talk a lot more with adults than I do with people my own age. I've noticed that a lot of people won't take you seriously when you're younger. Your age greatly affects your knowledge and your ability to say things of importance.
Because of that very reason, I always try to keep my mouth shut. My mouth runs faster than my brain has time to think, and I tend to spit out the wrong things at the wrong time. Since this has happened so much, it's easier for me to tell myself to shut up and then talk to myself before I go to sleep at night to actually spill out all my thoughts. (I can't just keep them in forever.)
But recently when reading all these quotes from people I look up to, I start to think of it differently. All those times when I kept my thoughts to myself for fear of being rejected, maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe I should have taken Taylor Swift's advice and spoken when I had the chance.
The fear of being rejected for my opinion is a lot smaller than the fear of getting to the end of my life and realizing I never said the things I wanted to when I had the chance, and then losing that opportunity just because I was scared.
Jason's biography and quotes put a whole new spin on that.
Maybe, by opening my mouth, I might say the wrong thing, or I might embarrass myself, or I might lose respect from people... but at least I'm being me. When we speak our mind and let out our opinions, we show people who we are. We show our mistakes, we show our flaws, and a lot of times, we end up revealing our brokenness.
It's not always impressive to others, but that's where that first quote really touched me...
"I'd rather be real, than impressive."
And it's true. No matter what our age, we all have opinions. I quoted Dr. Seuss this week when he said "A person's a person, no matter how small." We all have beliefs and thoughts that make us who we are. We know what we believe and we have opinions that we feel strongly about. But a lot of times, because of our age or because of fears, we keep those thoughts, opinions and beliefs inside of us.
I'm not saying we should go around 24/7 blurting out everything on our minds. Obviously, that wouldn't be the best idea. But I am saying that there's a time to speak now. There is a time to say what's on your mind when you have the chance to say it.
We can live our whole lives keeping to ourselves and miss the opportunities to say what we wish we could have said, or we can speak up and let our voice be heard.
The fears of embarrassment or loss of respect or "saying the wrong thing" should never hold us back from saying what we feel. Through our thoughts and through our honesty, people will see the real us. People will see all our flaws and all our brokenness, but I'd rather let people see my flaws than pretend to be perfect any day.
The last quote, I read today [also by Jason Gray] that I really loved said this:
"By His love, all the outsiders and losers are being made beautiful."
And I will leave you with that.
<3 Amy
Oh that was great, Amy. It really made my day. Even though you don't post often, when you do there is such insight. You inspire me so much! Just reading what you wrote here is making all these thoughts and ideas crop up in my head that I will live off for weeks, or until the next time I read something that affects me like this. Two years ago when my family got to see a family member we hadn't seen for many years. He kept teasing me, saying things like "you're the noisy one in the family, right?" that's when it hit me that people notice that I am silent. I realized I might actually have something to offer a conversation. We all have to let ourselves loosen up and stop being afraid we're going to look stupid. I have more friends now than I have ever had in my life. Why? I decided to put my silence aside and let the world know that I have something to offer. So this post of yours really hit home.
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