Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace.

"I'd rather be real than impressive."


A recurring topic has been showing up in my life a lot lately. It started with Taylor Swift's new CD, 'Speak Now.' I opened the album art insert in the front cover of the CD to the first flap and read these words:

"I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moments we didn't speak up." - Taylor Swift

The second instance happened just now when I was reading all the quotes on Jason Gray's website along with is biography, in which he said this:

"I'm actually grateful now," Jason says, "that my speech handicap never afforded me the option of masking my weakness behind an illusion of competency.  Whenever I opened my mouth, there it was for all to see... something was clearly wrong with Jason.  I couldn't fool others or myself.  I think the best thing that can happen to us is to be 'found out' for all that we are, our religious and human pretenses stripped away to reveal our sin, pettiness, and weakness.  Then we can devote our energies to better endeavors than the constant masquerade of sufficiency.  The added benefit is that people are able to see how God's grace works in a real person's life.  When we come clean about our brokenness, Christ becomes the star of our testimony and not us."

I think that for a lot of us, most of our lives are spent keeping our mouths shut for fear of saying the wrong thing. I'm not the best at it, but I know I think about it all the time. I'm scared to say the wrong thing, so I choose not to say anything at all. Whether it's fear of embarrassment or someone not agreeing with what I say, or even someone judging me wrongly for the words I say. It's all of these fears that keep me from opening my mouth.

When I was little, I grew up listening to adults say "Children should be seen and not heard" and frankly, as a child, I always hated that phrase. 

My parents will tell you I have a big mouth. And because of that, I always felt as if I had a very important opinion that needed to be heard. I like making my opinion heard and I like letting other people know what I think... but I have no filter. Therefore, sometimes, the things that come out probably shouldn't have.

I was a lot more shy when I was young, so I didn't worry too much about saying the wrong thing, since I didn't say much. But as I got older, I've started to talk more. And I talk a lot more with adults than I do with people my own age. I've noticed that a lot of people won't take you seriously when you're younger. Your age greatly affects your knowledge and your ability to say things of importance.

Because of that very reason, I always try to keep my mouth shut. My mouth runs faster than my brain has time to think, and I tend to spit out the wrong things at the wrong time. Since this has happened so much, it's easier for me to tell myself to shut up and then talk to myself before I go to sleep at night to actually spill out all my thoughts. (I can't just keep them in forever.)

But recently when reading all these quotes from people I look up to, I start to think of it differently. All those times when I kept my thoughts to myself for fear of being rejected, maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe I should have taken Taylor Swift's advice and spoken when I had the chance.

The fear of being rejected for my opinion is a lot smaller than the fear of getting to the end of my life and realizing I never said the things I wanted to when I had the chance, and then losing that opportunity just because I was scared.

Jason's biography and quotes put a whole new spin on that. 

Maybe, by opening my mouth, I might say the wrong thing, or I might embarrass myself, or I might lose respect from people... but at least I'm being me. When we speak our mind and let out our opinions, we show people who we are. We show our mistakes, we show our flaws, and a lot of times, we end up revealing our brokenness.

It's not always impressive to others, but that's where that first quote really touched me...

"I'd rather be real, than impressive."

And it's true. No matter what our age, we all have opinions. I quoted Dr. Seuss this week when he said "A person's a person, no matter how small." We all have beliefs and thoughts that make us who we are. We know what we believe and we have opinions that we feel strongly about. But a lot of times, because of our age or because of fears, we keep those thoughts, opinions and beliefs inside of us.

I'm not saying we should go around 24/7 blurting out everything on our minds. Obviously, that wouldn't be the best idea. But I am saying that there's a time to speak now. There is a time to say what's on your mind when you have the chance to say it.

We can live our whole lives keeping to ourselves and miss the opportunities to say what we wish we could have said, or we can speak up and let our voice be heard.

The fears of embarrassment or loss of respect or "saying the wrong thing" should never hold us back from saying what we feel. Through our thoughts and through our honesty, people will see the real us. People will see all our flaws and all our brokenness, but I'd rather let people see my flaws than pretend to be perfect any day.

The last quote, I read today [also by Jason Gray] that I really loved said this:

"By His love, all the outsiders and losers are being made beautiful."

And I will leave you with that.

<3 Amy

Pictures :)

It that time of year again. :)

Low temperatures. Fireplaces on. Christmas trees. Decorations. Too much food. The smell of cinnamon. Hoodies. Family.

The holiday season make me so happy. I might be a little early this year, but when I actually enjoy going to Lowe's (my least favorite store in the world) because the Christmas stuff is out... well then, you know it's time.
I'm extra excited this year, but I'm not sure why. I feel like I must say that every year. The weather has finally gotten very cold. All the stores are completely covered in red and green decorations and I'm just happy. :)

I can't wait for Thanksgiving to come... and then go. Of course, I absolutely love Thanksgiving also, but the day after, Christmas trees get to go up. It's exciting. It really is.

This past Friday I spent all day with 4 kids and had such a great time. I realized that I actually love children. I used to always hear people go on and on about how young kids are a gift from God. Well, no lie. It's fascinating to watch them learn new things and interact with each other. I love listening to them tell their super long never-ending stories and hold on to my leg so I won't leave them. It's amazing.

So, we went to the playground, and since I had my camera with me, I decided to take pictures. Most of which turned out really good.

I also added 2 pictures from Thursday. 

 

Politics... Just A Thought.

Instead of waiting 6 months to write a lengthy post, maybe it's a better idea to write short posts about all the different things going through my head...so, here's something I needed to get out.

So…. it’s political madness on TV. I guess since it’s election time, every single commercial is an ad for who to vote for…
But I’ve realized that no longer are the ads persuading us who to vote for… no. Now they’re persuading us who NOT to vote for. It drives me CRAZY…

Here’s why:
Every campaign ad/commercial completely tears down the opposing candidate that “said person” is running against… for whatever they may be running for. Can we not promote ourselves enough that we have sunk so low to tear down others in order to bring ourselves higher?
I can’t vote yet. BUT if I could… I wouldn’t vote for someone who trashes their opponent on TV but can’t promote themselves. I would vote for the person that says what THEY are going to do, not what their opponent ISN’T going to do.
If you have to trash your opponent in order to get votes, then you must not have any good ideas… because you obviously have nothing good to say about yourself. I wouldn’t vote for someone that has to lift themselves higher by ruining others.
Just a small political thought. Am I the only one’s who has noticed this lately?

I Procrastinate.

I am the world's biggest procrastinator.

But now, as I'm sitting, with ear buds in, music on, ice pack on my neck, trying to recover from my tonsil surgery, I figured I could finally stop procrastinating and write this long, long, long awaited blog.

First of all, the new name.

Hephzibah: Me delight is in her; my delight is in my child.

Back, many, many years ago, the first BarlowGirl song that was ever produced was put as a hidden track on their very first self-titled CD. The song was called "Image." One of the lyrics says, "It's in me that my God takes delight."


Well, many years later, I discovered this band and this song. And I remember when I first heard Rebecca Barlow's testimony. In it she recited this verse that God spoke to her from Isaiah which says "You shall no longer be called forsaken or desolate, but you will be called Hephzibah, for it's in you that your God takes delight."

I didn't think as much of this back then... but just recently, this verse has become my favorite verse and Hephzibah has become my favorite word. I've pasted sticky notes with this verse all around my room and read it as often as I can. I think, [especially as girls,] we spend so much time telling ourselves how worthless we are or how ugly and forsaken we are... Which is either because of what we see when we look in the mirror, or what we hear from people around us, or whatever it may be. We take those thoughts and tear ourselves down.

I love this verse because it reminds us of how highly God thinks of us as His children. He doesn't want us to call ourselves those names, but instead He gives us a new name. And this new name, simply says that He takes delight in us. 

I love HEPHZIBAH because at first look, nobody knows what it means. I love being able to explain to people that this is God's given name to His children for He takes delight in them.

Next, yes, I got my tonsils taken out yesterday. I've had throat infections for more than a month now and every time one would go away, a new one would come. I think I've been on about every antibiotic out there. And I am officially sick of medicine. So, after going to the Ear, Nose, Throat doctor, he said I had to have my tonsils removed immediately, and that's how I ended up here... in extreme pain.

Definitely not the funnest thing I've ever done in my life. But I did face a few of my fears so I guess that's a plus.

Thirdly, I can never seem to write a blog post without talking about a movie... so I just have one word: INCEPTION. If you haven't already seen it, then go see it. If you have, then go see it again. :) Seriously, the only movie that I didn't regret paying 10 ridiculous dollars for because it was that worth it. After all the hype about it, my brother and I went to go see if it was as spectacular as everyone claimed. Well, it was. We both walked out of the theater with mouths open, saying "whoa." It was just that good. I'd definitely pay to see it again.

Let's see... what else is going on? Well, I started my second year of college, which up until now was going great. I have 4 classes: Economics, Pre-Calculus, Psychology, and Spanish... and I've discovered one thing:

I. Love. Learning.

I absolutely love sitting in class and getting new things planted into my little brain. Then, I love going home and doing homework (depending on the amount) and telling people the new things I've  learned. I feel like I gain more knowledge and get smarter everyday, which is a great feeling. I never want to stop learning.

Finally, I seriously have the best family in the whole entire world. I'm 100% sure they couldn't get any better and I'm extremely thankful for them everyday.

<3 Amy

Below I shall post some pictures I have recently taken and edited... I've been kind of obsessed with this editing website, picnik.com... If you want to see all of the pictures, then  visit my flickr. Which is *HERE*

Not Sure How To Title This

Yeah... Um...

Saying "sorry" won't cut it... so I'm just going to cover my face in shame for not posting in FOREVER... literally.
Sooo... I'm sitting here thinking of what to post and since I've had a lot going on... (Sort of), I'll just post some movies I've seen, songs I've heard, videos I've watched, etc. to... share a little tiny bit of my life for the past few months.

First of all,
I finally saw 'The Blind Side' when it came out on DVD... and it is absolutely one of my new favorite movies of all time. I always love Sandra Bullock, and throughout this whole movie, I just kept saying "Wow, I love her character" over and over again. I'm sure I was driving my family crazy as I shared my amazement throughout the whole film. Her character was one of the most selfless characters I've ever seen in a movie, but yet, she was so funny. She had an attitude and didn't like to be recognized for her "good deeds" but her heart was SO big... and you could see it. The way her and her family interacted in the movie was also incredible. The whole movie was just great. It definitely deserved the academy award that it won. The actors were amazing, the plot was great, [especially since it was based on a true story] and most of all, the personalities of the characters was just beyond words. I absolutely loved it....

In one scene, Leanne says something that I'll never forget.
Her friend is looking at Big Mike and how much he has changed since Leanne and her family have taken him in... and she says "You're really changing that boy's life."
and Leanne (Sandra Bullock) looks away and smiles and says, "No, he's changing mine."

I will always remember this because it meant something to me. Sometimes, whether we know it or not, we may change someone's life or have an impact on someone... maybe something we say or something we do can impact someone deep enough to change them... but the beauty in this isn't in "us changing the other person" but... the change that comes inside of US when we can impact someone else's life. Leanne was completely changing Big Mike's life. She had given him home, family, hope, and goals.... but in the end, she was the one being changed by him.

I encourage everyone to go see this movie. You'll DEFINITELY laugh, you might shed a tear, you'll smile, you'll "awww" and you won't waste your time. This movie is worth watching. Click *HERE* for trailer.

NEXT, I wanted to share this website that I "stumbled upon" recently... this month actually, thanks to my lovely twitter friends.

Operation Beautiful

The main goal/mission or point of this website is to help the way girls see themselves... "one post-it note at a time." So, basically anyone that's contributed to the website has put a post-it note or some kind of note somewhere out in the world with a positive message on it. Usually something like, "you are beautiful."
It's so interesting and fun to go through all of the posts and see where all these notes are stuck around the world... in bathrooms, on beaches, books, clothing stores, schools, walls, windows, diet medicines, doors, etc.

Their mission is to spread positivity, by showing/telling girls that they are beautiful just for being themselves. Not just by appearance, but also by inward beauty... to boost self confidence and end "self-hate."

I fell in love with this website because I can just imagine some random girl walking around and finding a note with a positive message on it that says "you are beautiful" or "you are loved." Those are the kinds of messages that girls need to hear everyday, and need to learn to tell themselves. It's amazing to think how one small post-it note could change lives around the world. Just 3 simple words, or more, written on a piece of paper could impact someone's life so greatly.

Anyways, it's really neat to check out the website and all the different people that have contributed to it and look at all the pictures. :)


And finally, I found a really cool video recently that is definitely worth checking out.

'Sunday's Coming' ("Movie Trailer")

I think I may have watched this video close to ten times and I laugh every time. I quote it day and night.... it's hilarious... It makes me laugh so hard... but I think the funniest part of this whole video is how true it is. This video is the most accurate, clear description of a "mega-church" today and how we have strayed SO far away from displaying any sort of relationship with Christ in an organized institution.Our church is a rock concert with speakers.

The funniest part of this video may be the most pathetic.

Sooo... there's a few links and thoughts for now....
and I think I'll put a little more effort into posting more than every 2 months ;)

**Amy