Time To Let Go

Wrote a new poem. Thought I would share.

Time to Let Go

Haunting me with shame
Striking me with pain
Like a ghost luring deep in the shadows
of the night
The hurt battles me in a never-ending fight

I try so hard to forget
but I can’t let it go
Out of fear,
I continue to keep it close

I can’t escape
It’s everywhere I turn
It’s killing me
Won’t I ever learn?

I’m stuck in my past
I’m buried in regrets
Even though I try
I can’t ignore it

I need to get out
I’m sinking too deep
I have to escape
It’s time to break free

Out of the past
Away from my shame
Into the future
With a new name

I need to get out
I have to run away
My time has run out
I can no longer stay

It’s time to let go
I’m ready to fly
I’m ready to live
Before it’s my time to die

It’s time to see
that my life is more
It’s time to find out
what I was created for

Not my affliction,
my sorrow or pain
Not my heartache,
my burdens, my shame

I was made for more
More than this disease
So much more
So show me please

Your ways and Your truths
that You have set out for me
Your love and Your care
that you want me to feel

Wrapping me in
Your arms so tight
Showing me that darkness
is overcome by light

Open my eyes
Take all of my fear
Replenish my joy
and take all my tears

My past doesn’t make, break
or define me
It won’t stop me from being
who I want to be

That past is forever
over and done
But right now in this moment,
I am safe in Your arms. 

How To Feel Alive

This is the newest video I've made and the one I'm most proud of.

This song is 'How To Feel Alive' by Audea.

This Summer I went down to Tampa twice to see this band perform. Truly some of the most talented guys I have ever had the pleasure of seeing perform and meeting. (Hopefully not the last.) The guys are very sweet, very down-to-earth and extremely incredible musicians. Soon after the first concert I went to, they released *THIS* live practice session video of a song called "How To Feel Alive." I hit replay on the video more than 50 times in the first day. I absolutely love this song. I couldn't help myself and had to make a video to it.

My absolute favorite part of this song is the bridge:

If we could see like the blind man, would it open our eyes?
If we could hear like the deaf, would we listen to the lies?
If we could sing with a mute tongue til the day we die, would we find how to feel alive?


No one writes lyrics quite like these guys. It's something I love about their songs. I think that a lot of the songs can be interpreted differently by different people.

My interpretation is as follows:

I think one of the biggest things we do in life, as humans, is to try and "feel alive." We try to find that one thing that makes us happy and excited to live. We try to find that one thing that gives us a "high" for life. And most of the time, we can't find it in the things we look for it in. It reminds me of getting a new toy when I was little (and still now.) When I first got that new toy I had been waiting for and asking for forever, I was SO happy. I would be completely elated and play with it for hours and hours. I had begged my parents for it for months and years and I would "never need anything else ever again." But then after a few weeks, this new toy would become an old toy and my "high" would be gone. I would normally move on and find something else to beg and hope for.

I think we're the same with life, no matter how old we get. We try to find new things to make us happy and satisfy ourselves. But even when we find those things, after awhile, the feeling we got when we first got them fade away. After awhile, we go back to our same unhappiness and our same dissatisfaction that we had before. Then, we try to find something new. It's a continuous never-ending cycle...

But there is ONE thing that will always make us feel alive, and that is the One who made us alive. We spend so much time trying to find things to give us that alive feeling and that high that we kind of miss the One who is always there to give us that feeling. I think it's those moments when we truly feel and realize the amazing love that God has for us and shows us that we really feel alive. It isn't a temporary high from a material item or a moment of happiness from an exciting event. It's a permanent feeling of overwhelming joy knowing that the God of everything has an unconditional crazy love for us.

If we were blind and couldn't see, God would still make us feel alive. If we were deaf and couldn't hear, God would still make us feel alive. If we were mute and couldn't speak, God would still make us feel alive. If we couldn't hear, see, or talk then would we finally realize that feeling alive doesn't come from possessions, clothes, successes, people, moments, or anything else in this world?

The love that God has deeply embedded into our hearts and the over-powering joy that comes with that love is what gives us that high. Realizing that love will truly show us how to feel alive.

Check out Audea at facebook.com/audeamusic.

Below are pictures I got with the guys at both of the concerts. :)

Jordan, my best friend Alex, Will, me, and Eric :)